Like, uh, whatever, I guess


  Monday, May 24, 2004
    [8:30:41 PM]

Public Face Sucking: why is it bad?

Sounds horrible doesn't it? Maybe, maybe not, but I'd like to take a few minutes of your time to try and explain why I think it is. I don't want to succumb to a self-indugent list of why I think it's bad, but rather present a hopefully more rational argument.

Firstly, what exactly do I mean by "public face sucking", or rather what is this poorly disguised rant directed at?

It's more than just a public display of affection (PDA): how could a simple affectionate touch, hug, or kiss offend anyone? How indeed? No, what I'm referring to, I suppose, is overly affectionate displays of affection in a confined public space.

Quite a mouthful to be sure, let me elaborate: I'm referring to crowded public transport: the London underground during rush hour, busy shops, buses and pubs, you get the gist.

Just what do I mean by "overly affectionate"? Well, anything more than a simple gesture really, face sucking may sound a little harsh, but I think the mental image it conjures up signifies what I'm directing this at.

When one witnesses two people being affectionate to each other, a number of possible explanations come to mind: perhaps they're related, meeting or departing, it's quite possible that the people are friends, but most likely of all is that they're lovers. After all, surely that's where most of our affection goes? These are the people I want to talk about.

When two lovers meet, it's easy to imagine that they've just been reunited after a seperation of desperate longing unable to contain themselves. A night of passion spent together that just can't help but spill over into the next day. Or the exciting prospect of travelling towards a shared destination, where fantasies might be indulged.

All valid reasons for an unchecked outpouring of affection surely? Perhaps, and this is when I give myself away as a prudish old man at the tender age of twenty seven, but I counter the above with these reasons for waiting. Delaying gratification for the greater reward when it does arrive. The delicious anticipation of something worth waiting for. The excruciatingly fine line between pleasure and pain.

One could argue that noisily licking someone's face whilst on a crowded train is so acutely embarrassing as to be strenuously avoided at all times, but lust and passion carry their own version of the serial aggressors "Red Mist". I say it's "Pink Mist": everything else fades into the background, embarrassment and even awareness of others is a distant thought.

To finish off this diatribe, I should finish with a well worded and carefully thought out conclusion, perhaps I would ask people to exercise more self restraint, not just in displaying affection publicly, but in all walks of life. Then again I could just say the same things to myself, after all haven't I just partaken in a public rant?

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